22 Tidbits

It's been a while since my last random post. Get your snacks ready and start reading. (Not that it's going to take too long to get through.)

1. Here's a cake I made for my niece way back in May. Her mom gave me about a day's notice.

I still can't figure out how to make the frosting smooth. =/ Other than that, I liked how it turned out.

2. Almost nothing stresses me out as much as having to cook a meal for someone other than my immediate family. Most of the problem is trying to decide what to make that'd be acceptable to everyone. The rest of the problem is knowing that I'm not a good cook. =P

3. Whenever I see an old shopping list left in a cart, I wonder: what if the next person to take that cart HAD to buy and do everything on that list? Wouldn't that make a thrilling movie plot?  It could show various shoppers embarking on seemingly routine grocery excursions, only to have things take a serious downward spiral when a discarded grocery/to-do list is discovered in the bottom of the cart. Don't need or like anything on the list? Too bad -- you're getting it anyway! Or. ELSE. (I'll have to think of a good consequence.)

4. How about something called macarooni? It's like traditional macaroni and cheese, but with crushed up macaroons mixed in.  =P

5. I fixed up this special batch of cookies for my niece's baptism in September. She wanted her initial on some of them. This pic makes me want to make some more. I'm gearing up to bake a bunch for Valentine's Day.

6. I think from now on my signature way of saying no should be "I shan't."  After a while, people will stop asking me to do stuff because they are confused about why I keep saying that. Duh - it's the first half of my name and a refusal all in one. My own personal "no way."

7. I think it's about time for a drive-thru hair salon. It could be called Rush Cuts. Customers simply drive up to the window, then kind of lean out the car window while a stylist reaches out with a pair of shears to swiftly whittle away unwanted wisps of hair. Folks could prepay for up to 2 minutes of pampering. Who wants to go inside a salon anymore and sit around in some strange, soiled chair? I think people would rather just stay in their cars. Another bonus: no tedious sweeping between each lousy haircut. Birds would collect the hair off the ground and make some really illustrious nests.

8.  When I was placing this box of oatmeal on the conveyor belt at the store, at first glance I thought it said "party pack." What better way is there to celebrate an occasion than with steaming bowls of microwaved oatmeal?

9. I'm getting better at introducing myself to new people and having less clumsy conversations with them. =)

10. I used to draw pictures for my parents and sign them with: "I love you. Love me too."

11. I just realized Oil of Olay dropped the "oil" part of their brand name at some point.

Now would be the perfect time for them to introduce a zesty twist on their product. How about changing the name to Olé? It'd sound about the same except the moisturizer would be infused with taco seasoning and refried beans.

12. More cookies I made at some point in the past year...

Speaking of which, the other morning I asked Oliver if he'd eaten breakfast yet. He confidently answered, "yeah, I had sprinkles." Gah. Well, I guess he feels like I have more than enough to spare. I'm trying to teach him that sprinkles alone don't make a meal. There at least has to be a cookie underneath them.

13. How to get citizens to cut down on committing crimes: make a public service announcement warning about the quantity of creamed corn they serve in jail. (Maren and I thought of that idea one night on our drive to tap class.)

14. Sometimes I wouldn't mind being one of those guys who gets paid to dance around with a sign outside a business. It looks sort of fun and/or humiliating. I'm pretty good at both of those things.

15. This happened when I was about to make enchiladas. All I did was pour some sauce in the pan and tilt it at alternating angles, which somehow formed a tiny, perfectly shaped heart.

What does it mean?!

16. A while ago I was at Forever 21 in the mall when that one Taylor Swift song suddenly came on. "I don't know about you -- but I'm feeling 22."  I felt like the music and everyone in the store should have come to a screeching halt in that moment. When that didn't happen I just giggled a little at the irony of hearing those lyrics in that particular store.

17. Here's a crummy picture of my budding bicep. My sporadic participation in Body Pump classes has paid off over the last couple of years. I really have noticed significant changes in my arms, legs and bum. Now if I could just step away from the junk food and start running again I might be able to fit back into my favorite jeans from last year. =/

18. I got this letter in the mail months after we consumed the last helping of potentially lethal almond butter.

I especially enjoyed that it instructed me to destroy the product and container, not just discard it. Does Salmonella tend to crawl out of trashcans and attack if it isn't properly slaughtered?

19. When listening to the oldies station, a DJ was discussing a contest and how to enter. Just as he'd finished up giving instructions, the Beatles' "I'm a Loser" started playing. Whether he planned that "coincidence" or not, it made me laugh.

20. Here's a peek at a pair of my dewy blooms from late last summer. Aren't they pretty in all their polychromatic, watery glory?

21. I've gotten a lot better at self checkout lanes. I used to hate them and avoid them, especially if I had any produce to buy. But now I can get through them without my heart rate spiraling out of control. Go me.

22. How about a store called Pants to Ponder? (inspired by that phrase "points to ponder.")
It's exactly what it sounds like. Pants, and lots of them. The kind you want to contemplate. And they'd all have pockets. Because pants without pockets are practically pointless.


I guess that's it for now!

"Real Women"

"Real women have curves,"  said a whole lot of people over the Internet.

Really? I thought all adult females were women, and real, no matter the amount of contours.

I see the comments people make, claiming that so-and-so's body is unrealistic, or gross, or some other insensitive adjective. Aren't all women real and unique and beautiful in their own way, regardless of size? Then why the heck are we regularly led to believe that men only like women who are built a certain way, and if they don't have just the right volume of this or that, then they simply aren't worth looking at?

Every man out there apparently admires the same body type; so if she weighs too much or too little she just can't be attractive to anyone, ever, no matter how great her character traits are? I happen to know not all men want the same kind of woman, so why do articles and their comment threads keep trying to prove the contrary? It's like people think their personal opinions are scientific evidence.

Here's a lame saying I've seen: "Real men go for meat. Bones are for dogs." First of all, what a rude thing to say. Some women are naturally slim, no matter what they do or what they eat. Some men prefer that look. Some women aren't slim, no matter what they do or what they eat. Some men like that. It stinks that people feel the need to say one group of similarly shaped women is less (or more) desirable than another. I think it's feasible to believe that some men are attracted to an array of womanly shapes. Maybe the men who realize there is more to love about ladies than just physical appearance.

Just the other day I saw an article and accompanying photo of a curvy "plus-sized" woman in a bikini. Since I've been in the process of writing this rant, I felt the need to skim through some of the comments. One of the first I noticed was, "FINALLY! A normal-looking body!" Of course a bunch of people clicked "like" on that comment, which was posted by a woman. What is normal? Why is it okay for people to bash one body type or another? I think women dislike being called "too skinny" just as much as others don't enjoy being labeled "too fat."

I have a few bones here and there that stick out a little. It's just the way I am built. A boy once compared my figure to that of a skeleton and joked that I might blow away in the wind. After a five-pound weight gain, a different male told me I was chubby and a turn-off. Those evaluations were nothing but two separate perspectives. (And boys think girls are choosy!) I've tried not to let assessments like that get to me. I've learned to appreciate my frame the way it is on any given day. I should be able to look the way I feel most comfortable, for me -- not for anyone else. But I guess that would be mighty selfish of me. ; ) My physique will never be acceptable to everyone, but it shouldn't have to be.

My point is, not all men favor the same female form. The first boy I mentioned probably would have preferred a slightly heavier version of me, when the second male would obviously opt for the lighter version of me. This is proof that the same body can be too much of something for one person and not enough of it for another person. So how can anyone make general statements about how a girl is "supposed" to look?

People need to keep mean observations to themselves. They don't help. It's especially hard to shrug off unkind comments from people we personally know. And all the online know-it-alls need to hush up once in a while instead of typing the "truth" about what guys like and don't like.  (I really should stop reading biased articles and the accompanying comments.) Everyone is different! That's the way it'll always be. Generalizations are annoying. What one person loves, another doesn't. And that should be okay.

It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or says about anyone else's body. If a woman feels comfortable in her own skin, who is anyone else to tell her she's wrong?