Beatle Girl

I don't know what day it happened. I don't recall exactly how old I was. What I do know is that when I was a little girl I fell in love with four men : John, Paul, George and Ringo. My mom had kept a lot of their albums from when she was a teenager during the height of Beatlemania. I listened to those records over and over in the darkness of our wood-paneled basement. Their music made an indelible impression on me. I heard the songs the way millions of first generation fans did. On a record player. The best way to hear them, in my opinion. I've always savored the sound of sweet nostalgia. " I love my records/black, shiny vinyl/clicks and pops and white noise/man they sounded fine" (Stolen lyrics from a Tim McGraw song. I couldn't have put it better myself). Most of my CD covers. I don't know what happened to all the records we used to have, but after they'd been through me they weren't exactly in pristine shape. I killed them with my love.

Here are the three 2-disc Anthology albums that were released when I was in high school. I was beyond giddy to get these. They had tons (literally!) of "never before heard" songs, along with rough early versions of their most recognizable work. It was so interesting for me to hear how they incrementally perfected each track.

My sisters and brother all shared my affinity for The Beatles, but I was for sure the most devoted out of all of us. We watched "A Hard Day's Night" and "Help!" a plethora of times each. I loved seeing my boys on film. I thought they were unbearably cute in their movies when they sang, goofed around, danced or said anything. British accents make me melt.

Over the years, my Beatle love deepened and increased. In junior high I got my first t-shirt that showcased that admiration. When I entered high school, some boys began calling me Beatle Girl.
I don't know how they came up with that. Just because I had enough Beatles shirts to wear
a different one each day of the week. And wear them daily I did. I loved the attention. I found that outwardly displaying my musical taste was the easiest way to attract other fans.

One day at school, early in my sophomore year, I discovered a hot boy wearing a "Beatles For Sale" album cover t-shirt. It was instant infatuation. I wanted him to see the Beatle shirt I happened to be wearing that day. I looked forward to each day when I would search the crowded halls for him. It took me a few days to muster up the courage to say anything to him. I liked hearing him talk and watching him walk. Actually, his walk drove me crazy. In a good way. ;) His name was Justin (and I'm sure it probably still is, wherever he may be). He was so cool. I didn't really know what to do about my crush. He mostly teased me and I mostly just giggled. One time we exchanged hand-written quizzes with Beatles trivia. I don't remember the scores, but I do recall a bit of debate about some of the answers. Sometimes at lunch I would go sit with him by his locker, but I was always so nervous around him. I'd never liked anyone as cool as him before. That kind of intimidated me. At some point we progressed to phone calls. I wasn't sure if he was thinking what I was thinking, so I asked him over the phone, "do you like me?" He said, "why not?" :) Later, he hinted that it would be cool if I would come with him and his friends to the Crazy Horse (a little venue near downtown where local alternative or punk rock bands played). I was only 15 and knew I wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere with him until I was 16, and that was almost a year away. So he just kind of gave up on me. And I didn't ever kiss him! Dang, what was my problem? I blame my nerves, my hesitancy to do anything daring, and my inexperience with boys. I had a crush on him the rest of high school even when I started dating other boys and when he had a girlfriend the next year. Oh well.

Wearing Beatles shirts so often had its good and bad consequences. While it often solicited positive feedback, I can remember one instance when a couple of girls were walking behind me and one of them said in a snotty voice, "I hate The Beatles!" I had to bite my tongue, but I was truly offended. Totally spoiled my mood. Their music was so deeply ingrained into the fibers of my being that any negative comments about my boys was a personal insult to me.

I sometimes wonder if I can get away with wearing Beatles shirts at my age. I don't know why I care about what others may be thinking. I just don't want people to think that I'm trying to look like a teenager. It's true that some days I wish I could take a trip back to my teenage years, but that's not why I wear Beatles shirts once in a while now. It's simply to advertise my ongoing adoration for the greatest band in history. (That's a fact, not just my personal opinion. =)

I bought this mug when I was probably 15. I came across this little notepad set a couple years ago. What a find!

Reverse side of my mug. Paul was always my favorite. So handsome ... and I loved his voice the most.

My trading card collection. They had these at Hastings when I was a teenager. My awesome sister gave me a whole box of them for Christmas that year. How exciting!

My mom saved some of her magazines from the Sixties. They aren't in very good condition, but I'm happy to have them. I remember poring over them and expanding my storehouse of Beatle
facts. I used to know pretty much everything about them. I would go to the library and check out stacks of biographies about them. If only I'd been so serious about my schoolwork. ;) Between boys and The Beatles, I was a lost cause when it came to getting good grades. I'm not proud of that, but that was my justification at the time. I can hear in my memory a sampling of my thoughts back then: I'm too distracted to do my homework.

These are more mags my mom unknowingly saved for me. ;)

Here's the report I gave in US History my junior year. Everyone got to choose a band from the '60s to research. It was understood that I had dibs on The Beatles. It was my favorite school assignment ever.

Some clippings I collected during the 30th anniversary of their first visit to America.



I almost forgot to mention that in 1999, I got to go see Ringo in concert here in Boise. It was SO AWESOME! I couldn't believe I was in the same room with him, after a lifetime of loving him. =)
I enjoyed every minute of it.

It's still my dream to see Paul in concert. I really hope someday it will happen. And I want very much to go to England, too.

Okay, I'll say one more thing, and that is, The Beatles' music has always had the ability to cheer me, even in my darkest hour. For as far back as my memory takes me. And it still does. It's my therapy. It doesn't fix my problems, but it somehow makes them more bearable. With a little help from my friends, The Beatles, I can take a sad song and make it better. :)

I'm kind of hoping my kids will fall in love with The Beatles like I did. I try to let them hear their music as much as possible. So far, no complaints... This could be the beginning of a beautiful obsession. ;) (Honestly I've been playing They Might Be Giants albums most of the time when we're in the car lately. We all love them, but I need to make sure my two favorite bands have equal "airtime".)

I'm planting the seeds, and with any luck I'll be responsible for creating a new generation of young Beatlemaniacs.

Progress Report.

Day 5 of no frivolous spending:

The walls are closing in on me. I sit on my couch as one day melts into the next, rocking back and forth, alternating between wringing my hands and pulling my hair out. I can't take much more of this. Visions of clearance racks and Easter Aisles litter my brain. They beckon to me, wanting me to come sift through them and take something home with me.....

But I ignore them. I say no. I don't go there.

Okay, enough of that.

I've had no problems so far. I'm resisting the urge, although the urge is admittedly not very serious. At least not yet. I drove past Target on my way somewhere else. Without incident. If anyone saw me coming out of Ross with a shopping bag yesterday, I swear on my cupcake collection that the only thing in there was a sensible birthday gift for my mother. While inside, I averted my eyes as I made my way to the back of the store. I knew what I was there for. I found what I came to get, I got it, and vacated the premises. I didn't go over to the kids' section to see what I could find. I didn't look at the ladies' section. I didn't do it.

I didn't want to go browsing anywhere else, like I usually do. I didn't feel like shopping. I've made myself so guilty lately, and I realize that I sound like a lunatic half the time (most of the time), with all my ravings about this and that adorable thing I got. Things really aren't important. The more I get, the more I want to keep looking and getting, but it never satisfies. Then I'm left with a bunch of stuff I don't need and a dose of buyer's remorse. Almost nothing I buy is expensive individually, but it adds up.

Yes, it makes me feel happy to have things I like all around me. But is feeling happy and being happy the same? I don't know! I do know that I go in cycles. I go on little sprees, then I don't want to buy anything for a while. The next step is for me to instill a perpetual limit on my spending. I can't end this little trial period and start snatching up bargains left and right until the guilt takes over again. I do want to keep my goal, which is to not buy anything unnecessary until May. When that time is up I will decide, or have Ryan help me decide, what kind of monthly "allowance" is reasonable. And I will stick to it.

See what a good girl I am?

I have to start somewhere!

Enough Stuff!

It has come to my attention that I have been buying too many little thingies here and there (not to mention assorted clothes). Now that I have broadcast (in earlier posts) to the world my inability to pass up anything cute and/or on major clearance, I have no choice but to openly dare myself to not even go to dangerous stores like Target, Ross, or any other place that carries an abundance of seemingly irresistible knick-knacks. I've been in the middle of a heated internal debate over whether or not I should suppress my shopping tendencies. It hasn't been pretty. What if I miss out on something adorable? I'm going to miss all the neat winter clearance everywhere! How can I let everybody else in town spend hours sifting through the leftover crap that nobody wanted at a higher price? What am I going to do with myself????

Well, I decided I like the idea of trying to restrain myself. I'm going to do it. Not only will my abstinence save money; it will do wonders for my character! I was trying to decide on a reasonable time frame. I currently don't "need" anything. Can I go without buying any non-essential thing until Ryan graduates? That's just over two months away! I challenged myself to a full month last spring, and did just fine. I think I can definitely do it. The only exception I can think of during that time frame is Easter, and even then the only thing I know I will be getting is some candy for the egg hunt (The shopping freeze includes candy! Good thing I already have at least a year's supply...)

The kids do NOT need any more clothes, hair things, shoes, toys, etc. I have to keep reminding myself of this. No matter how cute or how cheap, I DO NOT NEED TO PURCHASE THEM! The best way for me to control myself (when handcuffs are not available), is to not step foot into my favorite stores. It's easier said than done, especially right now. I have a special weakness for springtime merchandise. I always have. It's so delightful! I love the cheery colors and sweetness of it all. Every year, I eagerly anticipate the fully stocked shelves of Easter treasures. For me to attempt a shopping hiatus during my favorite season of all is a HUGE emotional sacrifice. I'm wilting a little as I type, thinking of all the cuteness I'm going to miss out on. Can I make it through with my sanity semi-intact?


HEAVEN HELP ME! ;)

Cora and Jane Love Stuffed Animals.

The other day I broke down and organized all the girls' stuff, just to see what we were dealing with. I had to keep going until the whole room was basically all tidied up. Once I start something, I can't stop! Maybe I should start things more often! ;) They were excited when they got home from school. If they could only hold onto that refreshing feeling of orderliness all the time, maybe their room wouldn't get so disheveled. It just gets to a point that it's too overwhelming for them to clean up on their own. It really starts getting to me when there are dirty socks and such stuffed in their toy bins. They do not go in there, girls! After I had done my part, Jane busied herself doing the finishing touches. I came up after her handiwork was complete. She had set up most of their stuffed animals in makeshift little beds. I thought it was so cute that she'd taken such care to make sure all the animals were comfy. She was rather pleased with herself.
Cora just had to be pictured...

Laundry basket bed with friends aplenty.

The foot of Jane's bed (top bunk).

Underneath Cora's bed. Don't they look so serene and ready for sleep?

Perched atop Build-A-Bear boxes. The kids each got one last week thanks to some coupons and the gift cards they got for Christmas. That place is a rip-off! =)

I'm glad our girls like their stuffed animals. I always enjoyed playing with mine when I was a kid. Back then it seemed like we (Megan and I) had all the time in the world to just play and pretend. In between the customary squabbling, of course...

I still have a few of the stuffed animals I grew up with. My giraffe, for one (It's shown in the top photo above -- slouched between the tan basket and the blue teddy bear). I think maybe that's why I like giraffes so much, because for as long as I can remember I've had that stuffed giraffe. And it's never once betrayed me. That, and it might also be that they are just naturally awesome! I also have my Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls and a big Tweety Bird I got for Easter one year.

I'm trying to get lots of pictures of the girls in their room. I wish I had photos of my room from when I was little. Meg and I always shared a room. I remember loving it when it was all neat and clean. We would always rearrange the furniture, including our bunk beds. When we really wanted to, or Mom was really threatening us, we would straighten everything up perfectly. I would lay a quilt out on the floor as a "rug", and before Mom came in to inspect, I'd turn on the radio and have soft music playing to enhance the presentation.

I love my memories and I want my girls to have theirs be as vivid as possible when they're all grown up.

Cupcakes Galore!

This is getting a little freaky. I am always on the lookout for cupcake stuff. It wigs me out just a tiny bit that time after time, when I am specifically scanning the aisles for cupcake (or ice cream cone) paraphernalia, I FIND IT. It seems to materialize right before my eyes. Today Oliver and I were out shopping and I was debating on whether I should go into TJ Maxx to see what they had by way of Thomas & Friends trains (they cost more than I'm willing to pay at non-discount stores). Anyway, even though Ollie was nearing nap time I decided to go in really briefly while we were in the neighborhood. A few minutes later I'm weaving my way through the store, all the while subconsciously keeping my eyes peeled for treats-inspired decor. I round the corner and THIS instantly catches my gaze:



How adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I can't believe my luck. The sweets motif seems to be pretty popular as of late, so maybe some of my amazement at finding things like these is unwarranted, but to me each new discovery is like a special little miracle. Just think if I hadn't gone into TJ Maxx. I would have missed the boat on these babies! Unthinkable.




They are "piggy" banks, of all things. My first thought was, I don't need a piggy bank. But then I looked at the price tag. $5.99! Sold! I know I need to quit buying things like this. But I know a lot of people who collect things as a hobby. So that's my justification. I'm an avid, frenzied cupcake collector. I love having cute things to look at in my home. They light up my life. They are my bridge over troubled water... =)



Imagine my delight when I came across this cupcake-clad stuff (below) at Target the other day. Better be envisioning cheeks flush with excitement, eyes smiling widely and heart racing, because that's how it happened.

Clipboard, file folders, list pad, ribbon spools, and so on.

The day after I got these treasures, Renee dropped by with some cinnamon candy popcorn that she made. It was so good! Somehow I recognized the container she put the popcorn in. ;) She'd seen the same little buckets at Target and said they had my name written all over them. It made my morning. I love it when people think of me and bring me treats. :)

Valentine's Day Cookies

I assigned myself the task of making sugar cookies so I could use my cute new V-day sprinkles. As always, I savored every minute of the cookie-baking, frosting-spreading, sprinkle-arranging action. It doesn't get much better than this in Shannonland.

Jane did that little pink L one on the lower left .

Ollie's a Sleepyhead.

Oliver values his sleep. He rarely puts up a fight when it's sleepytime. I love how completely relaxed he looks when he surrenders to sweet slumber. I think I'll have to try this pose myself. My sweet little snugglebug. He takes about a three hour nap every day. I just let him snooze until he's ready to get up. I usually lie down next to him until he falls asleep, and then I get up and quietly go about my afternoon activities. But probably half the times I mean to get up I slip into my own peaceful nap instead. Oopsie! Oh well.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... (I can't stand saying "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz". It drives my teeth insane! But typing it is okay.)
He's such a doll. Here he is gradually coming out of sleepyland.
Even though I was taking pictures of him he rolled over and wanted to go back to sleep.
Strettttttttttttttttttttttttttchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

February 11th Would Have Been My Dad's 60th Birthday.

My dad died suddenly at home when he was just 56. As far as I know, he had a heart attack and went pretty quickly. (There was just never a good time to ask his wife about the final moments of his life. I don't think she was there when he went, and of course she was totally devastated.) I'll never forget how I felt when I heard the news. I wasn't expecting it at all, of course, but I just didn't know how emotional I would feel immediately after hearing about it. I was overcome with despair. I normally don't cry very easily, but this experience and my reaction to it proved to me how deeply I cared (and still care) about him. One of the hardest things about it was that I hadn't seen him in 4 years, and then my chance was permanently gone. He and Kathleen lived in Arizona, and it wasn't easy finding the money and time to visit there. Cora was 7 months old when we visited him last. My dad was actually in pretty poor health for many years. He dealt with frequent blinding headaches and was always exhausted, among other things. No diagnosis was ever decided. It shouldn't have been a huge surprise to me that he died so young, given all his health problems, but it really was. I just never prepared myself for the day he would go. I never really imagined it would happen, and especially so instantly that nobody got to say goodbye.

He was a brilliant man. The thing I loved most about him when I was growing up was his sense of humor. He would often make up impromptu little songs about things or people. I remember laughing so hard and thinking he was hilarious! And he was. He had quite a repertoire of silly voices. He played guitar and had a nice singing voice. I think that's where I got my love for choir. I also inherited the McCaleb belch. :) He had impeccable handwriting and enjoyed calligraphy. He wrote and published a couple of business related books. He served in the US Navy during the Vietnam War, and one of his good friends died when two missiles hit their ship. My parents divorced when I was about five, so after that we only saw him maybe once a year. I always looked up to him and loved him so much.

When he would come to town, he'd take us kids to Arby's, Flying Pie Pizzaria, or The Pantry to eat. (Those were the favorites, at least.) We'd go play frisbee or feed the ducks at Ann Morrison Park. I remember riding around town in the car and he was coming up with funny street names, like Barfbag Boulevard and Airsick Avenue. I love fun memories. I miss him.

After his funeral, my uncle gave each of us kids a CD with songs performed by his high school and college choirs. I love having that and I've listened to it several times. We also got discs with pictures from his life, some of which are posted below.




This is my Grandma McCaleb with her two little boys. Gary's on the left and my dad, Robert, is on the right.





This is a college photo of my dad, I think it was his Freshman year. He sure was handsome.









One time when he came to Boise for a visit he decided we needed a club house in our backyard. So we helped him build one. It was fun, and I have vivid memories of it. It lasted a lot of years.









This was him as a toddler. Such a cute picture. Little boys just don't look like that anymore.










I don't know when or where this pic was taken, but I love it. It really captures his personality.













This was taken around the time of my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary, I think.








That's me on the far left, then Erin, Dad, Megan and Gavin.

The gang again. Also pictured: Lori and Brian (the Cabbage Patch Preemies) and Ginger, the teddy bear.

What I want to do in the near future.

1.) I want to write kids' books.

I have one title all picked out. I Googled it to see if my idea had been "stolen", and my search produced no matches. =) I've only told select people about it. I will certainly not be mentioning it on here (lest someone sneaky should happen to read and snatch my golden idea). I thought of it sometime during the last year. The only problem is I haven't been able to concentrate enough on it yet to decide what the plot will be. I want it to be fun, cute, and most of all, good. There are so many dumb books for kids. I wonder why some of them were ever published. Of course there are also plenty of genuinely fun books available. I have this budding desire in me to personally contribute to the volume of good books out there, and soon!

I've loved writing since about 6th grade. From the time between 7th and 10th grade I wrote countless amusing little stories. The summer before 8th grade I became friends with a new girl, Renee. (We're good friends to this day!) She and I regularly wrote and exchanged these gems of fun for our own entertainment. They featured plots about boys, lunch ladies, getting dressed for dates, and so on. Sadly, I don't think any of them survived...

2.) I want to get a guitar and learn to play it.

I think anyone with the ability to play decent guitar is awesome. I want in on some of that awesomeness, and soon. I love, love, love music! I can't do without it. I think life's too short to not learn how to play some instruments of choice and make sweet music.

On a side note, I'd also like to learn how to properly play a harmonica. Wouldn't that be neat? :)

3.) I want to try and write a song or two.

I meant it when I said I love music. It is so astounding to me how many different combinations of notes can make up all the kajillions of melodies there are. It's a wonder that all the possible tunes aren't already spoken for. I was telling someone about this once and he looked at me like I was crazy. Don't I have a valid point? How do people keep coming up with sounds that haven't been covered before?

I know enough about music to know what is good listening and what is not so good. I'd like to take a stab at writing. Even if it never leaves the walls of my own home. At least that way I can't get accused of plagiarism. I think it would be pretty cool if I could write a song for each of my kids. While I'm at it, there needs to be at least one song in the world with my name in it. "Oh Shenandoah" just doesn't cut it for me. ;) Anyway, I think I can play piano well enough to compose something simple. What good would it be to me if I were unable to play it myself?

4.) I want to head over and check out Europe!

I need to make it to Europe before I kick the proverbial bucket. I don't care about seeing any part of any other continent until I get to behold the beautiful British Isles. My ancestors came from Scotland and Ireland. And we all know where my Beatles originated from. :) I must visit there. I want to see all the gorgeous landscapes, castles and other landmarks. Plus, I've always had a major weakness for British accents! =)

That's all for now. I don't want to have an unrealistic list of aspirations or I'll set myself up for failure.