I decided it was a silly idea to make my bedtime goal later than it was before. So, now I've been heading to snoozeville by 11:00 on the nights I don't have a valid reason to stay up, which is most nights. With a bedtime "goal" of midnight, I knew I wouldn't be surrendering until the stroke of then, even when nothing in particular was going on. It's not that I'm not physically ready to sleep- Oh, I'm prepared to conk out at any given time, day or night. It's just that I don't like to spend my free time victimized by unsettling dreams. That, and the distance between my head hitting the pillow and when it's supposed to be getting off my pillow always seems like a tiny blip in time, no matter how long it actually stays there. The reason I like to stay up late is to bask in "the quiet after the kids". I *could* get up early instead of stay up late, but I know that won't happen.
Yes, I'm weak. Yes, I could easily sleep as much as a toddler does. I can't seem to help it. No matter when I fall asleep and when I wake up, I still feel the same. Maybe if I was guaranteed to wake up feeling refreshed by retiring at 10pm and arising at 6am, I'd do it. But If I went to bed at 10, I know I'd still yearn to sleep until 8, because that's the time I absolutely have to wake up to get the kids ready for school. My morning "voice of reason" is always stifled by my pillow. . .
I hope that making myself go to bed at 11:00 for an extended period will gradually program my body to naturally wake the heck up when morning comes.
As far as managing my anger goes, I am working on it. I swear, whenever I make the universe aware of my motive to be calmer, it adds extra frustrations to my daily routine. It's like the angels are all gathered around, setting customized booby traps in my path, watching and waiting to see how I will handle it all. For instance, I was driving one day last week, racing carefully against time and traffic, when the car in front of me seemed to be mimicking a slug. There were two chatty youths in its front seat. I could clearly see a Winnebago-worth of space between it and the car in front of them. All I needed was to accelerate a bit so I could turn into a so-close-yet-so-far-away parking lot, buy a piano book, and drive back across town to pick up the girls from school. I admit I yelled and willed them to move out of the dang way.
I think I put unnecessary stress upon myself a lot. I wouldn't get so antsy in traffic if I would learn to leave in plenty of time to get to my destination. I won't go on and on about this much more, but I will say that I'm starting to give myself more breathing room when it comes to getting places. I need to stop getting mad and blaming other people for my own poor planning and tardiness.
Yes, I'm weak. Yes, I could easily sleep as much as a toddler does. I can't seem to help it. No matter when I fall asleep and when I wake up, I still feel the same. Maybe if I was guaranteed to wake up feeling refreshed by retiring at 10pm and arising at 6am, I'd do it. But If I went to bed at 10, I know I'd still yearn to sleep until 8, because that's the time I absolutely have to wake up to get the kids ready for school. My morning "voice of reason" is always stifled by my pillow. . .
I hope that making myself go to bed at 11:00 for an extended period will gradually program my body to naturally wake the heck up when morning comes.
As far as managing my anger goes, I am working on it. I swear, whenever I make the universe aware of my motive to be calmer, it adds extra frustrations to my daily routine. It's like the angels are all gathered around, setting customized booby traps in my path, watching and waiting to see how I will handle it all. For instance, I was driving one day last week, racing carefully against time and traffic, when the car in front of me seemed to be mimicking a slug. There were two chatty youths in its front seat. I could clearly see a Winnebago-worth of space between it and the car in front of them. All I needed was to accelerate a bit so I could turn into a so-close-yet-so-far-away parking lot, buy a piano book, and drive back across town to pick up the girls from school. I admit I yelled and willed them to move out of the dang way.
I think I put unnecessary stress upon myself a lot. I wouldn't get so antsy in traffic if I would learn to leave in plenty of time to get to my destination. I won't go on and on about this much more, but I will say that I'm starting to give myself more breathing room when it comes to getting places. I need to stop getting mad and blaming other people for my own poor planning and tardiness.
The exercise goal is going just fine. I even went jogging once for a change. I'm sure millions of people were motivated to the max after reading about my monumental 2-lb. weight loss. Well, probably more like one in a million people.
The "at least one scripture a day" goal is going smoothly, along with the other couple of things I half-mentioned in my last cricket-inducing post. =)
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